Farage re-invents the wheel and claims expenses for his radical new discovery.

It’s been a busy few weeks for Nigel Farage. You’d have thought, like the rest of us, he’d take a couple of days off to enjoy an Easter break with his long-suffering, hard-working German wife and family, but no. What with the EU Parliamentary elections so close at hand there’s not a moment’s rest for Brussels’ busiest EU-basher. In any case, after such a brilliant televised debate in which he out-smarted one of the UK’s least amusing politicians,  why would a busy bee such as Nigel pause for a holiday. Farage is on a high and he’s not about to let his bubble burst by taking his non-British, EU immigrant, German secretary-come-wife (whose wage is paid by Brussels) on a city trip to Paris.

UKIP are hugely confident of a land-slide victory to the European Parliamentary elections this coming May, quite convinced their likable, comic, straight-talking, man-of-the people is going to smash the system, smother those wishy-washy Lib Dems and with one big hurrah return hundreds of anti-establishment freedom-fighters to the capital of the EU’s evil empire. At last! They scent victory and are ready to drive their message home while the going’s good.

If polls are to be believed – and polls are pretty accurate auguries of the future – things are looking good for Farage. So good in fact, Nige is able to brush aside awkward questions relating to:

  • how exactly he managed to go through thousand of tax payers money on phoney expenses;
  • why exactly he employs his German wife when hundreds of British P.A.’s applied for the very same job – and in the same week UKIP posters went up asking voters “26 million people in Europe are looking for work. And whose jobs are they after?”
  • saucy flings with Latvian lap-top dancers (ooh aah Mr 7UP).

Better still for Farage, a referendum is on the cards, the main-stream Tories who sold out to the EU are being routed and with the terribly serious Mr Milliband in charge of Labour, well the only way, for UKIP, is up.

Farage’s anti-EU stand is not, of course, limited to UKIP voters. He has a whole host of cohorts from other parties cheering him on, including EU Perspectives notes, one Mr Bob Niell, Conservative Member of Parliament for Bromley and Chislehurst, who rather like a long-suffering, harried husband came up with the brilliant headline “We can not go on as we are”, referring not to his domestic arrangements but to the UK’s relationship with the EU. His press-release on supporting an EU referendum reads,

“Our relationship with the EU needs to change. We have moved too far beyond the free trade area that we originally signed up to and the burden of Brussels regulation on business is too great.”

Which rather begs the question: how on earth is Bob Neill, once the UK is finally out of the EU, going to deal with his latest bête noireLE SMOG!

As if hundreds of thousands of unwanted EU citizens crowding the British Isles were not enough for UKIP and the likes of Mr Neill the UK  now has to contend with an even more sinister invasion – pollution from Paris!

According to well respected scientists working in King’s College, London, pollution levels in London have been exacerbated by smog generated not in the UK but from across the channel in Paris, Belgium and the Netherlands. Bob Neill – yep the very same Conservative MP who fully supports the UK’s withdrawal from the EU states, There is no reason why Londoners should have to breathe in their fumes. They should clean up their dirty air. We have made real strides here with the Boris bike scheme and low emission zone.”

Quite. Air pollution is a filthy problem requiring urgent action. All Europeans are suffering from the effects of air pollution. Yet, according to Farage’s and Neill’s logic the only way of dealing with air pollution is to disband the EU. Free from the shackles of EU regulations and control the UK will finally be able to legislate in favour of British interests, which include urgent action on air pollution that drifts over from Paris and causes hundreds of extra deaths in London….and the UK’s sovereign Parliament is going to deal with this problem by….?

Let’s face it how exactly they are going to regulate cross-border air pollution in favour of British interests is anyone’s guess. Perhaps they could build a wall? Lovely-jubbly. Nice ‘an easy – and it’s a great one-liner.

Back in the real world, the only logical conclusion is that following a few years of splendid isolationism these very same politicians, if they are still around, will once again beat a path to Brussels seeking ways in which to address all these pesky cross-border issues, be it environmental air, water and land pollution, energy security, immigration or cross-border financial services.

In short Farage, if he has his way, is going to force the UK to re-invent the wheel by trying to re-negotiate all sorts of treaties on, inter alia, immigration, air pollution, energy security, financial regulation, educational exchanges, food quality…. Do not be fooled by Farage’s amusing banter, his affable charms and simple one-liners. If UK citizens are really concerned about the levels of immigration, air pollution, future energy supplies – and they should be – then voting for Farage in May is the last thing they should be doing.

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